Cast of characters:
- Dougie – An Australian friend of my friend, Alison, who I met in Chicago during Summer 2013. Fun guy!
- Random frat-house slackers.
- Certain departments at work, especially the Kids department, work with the Guinness Book of World Records to set new records.
- No other real context.
Dougie and I were sitting on a couch in a dingy room inside of a frat house. We were both slouching on a dirty, ratty old couch, and I could barely see over the glass coffee table full of old pizza boxes, beer cans, and ash trays. On the other side of the room, two guys and a girl were passed out on another dirty old couch. The girl was sleeping with her head tilted back with her mouth wide open, and she was wearing black sunglasses. The walls were a dingy and off white, and the only light in the room was coming through the closed shades on the windows. We were somewhere in “the North.” Dougie told me that he had come from Australia to do a record-breaking, cold water dive.
All of a sudden, we were on an ice-breaker ship in the Arctic. The ship was bright white. I told Dougie that the water had to be exactly 18F for the dive to count. Dougie stripped down to his swim trunks, which were a red and white floral pattern, and then he jumped into to the freezing water. I jumped in right after him. I had an underwater camera and was there the capture the record-breaking event.
That’s it… the end!